Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
