Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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