I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
