and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
