...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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