After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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