I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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