I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
