Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
