I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
