is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
