Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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