I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
