Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
