You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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