Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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