If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Couch. On fire.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
