dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
