She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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