you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize