I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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