How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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