Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
