I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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