So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
