I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
