She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
