we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize