Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
