Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
