my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
