I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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