I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize