Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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