I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
