I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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