Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Terrible idea I love it
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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