We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
