Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
