That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize