This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
