3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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