Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
