I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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