obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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