As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The struggles of a small town man whore
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
