theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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