Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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