Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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