If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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