Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
