I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
