My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
