I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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