I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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