I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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