if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
