So drunk, too bad you don't want this
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
