Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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