We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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