dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
